


Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You

by QueenofSchmoop



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, Fantasizing, M/M, Pining, Pre-Canon, Season/Series 01 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 23:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: Set before the events of the first episode, Grizz pines for Sam. And knows he must stay away, for this is the boy he knows will crumble all his defenses.





	Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You

Grizz isn’t listening. To the teacher, who is droning on about some history thing that he honestly doesn’t give a damn about. To Luke, who is talking about some party off to his side. To anything or anyone. He’s staring intently down at his paper, moving his pencil in a desperate attempt not to write Sam Eliot’s name and possibly draw big hearts around it. Or worse, write Gareth Eliot or Grizz loves Eliot or something like that. Something that would give himself away. Something that would give _everything_ away. 

It’s tough. Whenever he has a class with Sam, which luckily is only one per day—he’d worked hard to make sure it was just the one, even going so far as to transfer one of his classes—his eyes are drawn to the pretty boy. 

Sam is often in the company of Becca. It’s obvious they are BFFs. For a while, Grizz thought maybe they were dating. Everyone knows, though, that Sam is gay. So he figures they are just, you know, friends. Which makes him happy, because he’d be so jealous if Sam had a boyfriend. Anyone other than himself, he thinks, which is completely impossible. 

Sometimes, late at night when he should be sleeping, he fantasizes about coming out. About it having a happy ending. About his parents not hating him. About his friends accepting him. And about Sam being proud of him and kissing him. On the lips. Right in front of everyone. Those are his favorite moments, his favorites thoughts. He doesn’t let himself think of it often. Because he understands, that is not how it would go. 

His parents would be pissed. His friends would likely hate him, make fun of him. He would lose their friendships, their respect. And Sam? He likely wouldn’t be impressed. As someone who has basically been ‘out’ for as long as Grizz can remember, he’d probably be very unimpressed by how long it took Grizz to do it. So that kiss? More than likely not going to happen. It always depresses Grizz when he thinks about the real world events that are far likelier to happen, should he truly let the world know who he really is. Yeah, he keeps that happy dream, and sometimes he can’t help himself from bringing it out and watching it unfold like a Netflix movie. But not often. 

He twitches as the bell rings. Luke is already halfway out the door, followed by the rest of his friends. Grizz stands more slowly, pretending he needs the time to gather his things. In truth, he’s eyeing Sam without looking like he’s eyeing Sam. Those hands are a flurry, Becca’s just as quick as she laughs, then speaks and signs back. Finally, he’s lingered as long as he can and catches up to his friends. 

As he walks out, Jason claps his hand on Grizz’s shoulder and he fights to keep from shrugging him off. He loves his friends, he truly does, but sometimes he wishes they would just….go away. To another world or something and let him be. Let him be himself. 

Shaking such thoughts away, his hair flopping into his eyes, he mumbles an agreement of some kind and continues walking on. Leaving Sam behind him. Back to who he is now. Something that can’t, that won’t, change until after high school is done. Until he can get out of here, on his own. Until he can escape this town, these people. 

Until the day when, perhaps, he can find Sam Eliot and finally confess how he feels. 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I need to change/add to the tags


End file.
